listening part 3

I really liked the listening to support others and it was a good way to for understanding and for the good support. It is an important way in which the listener can use their listening skills.  By using the listening skills you can become a more effective, helpful, and thoughtful listener.  I thought this was a really important section and it popped out to me because I think communication and listening is important in all relationship whether is has to do with friendship, serious relationships or anything of that sort.  Being mindful and respectful of what the other person is saying is important in terms of what they are feeling, thinking, needing and wanting.  It is important that you always look at other people's perspective, not just yours, you have to be open and supportive. I think paraphrasing is an important method because it helps you understand the communicator better and it shows that you are listening. It also helped us understand the meaning more and actually let us take in what was said. This is important in a relationship because understanding how a person is feeling with using good listening skills shows a lot of support. Once you understand the person you are able to communicate your support while listening and understanding fully with all the helpful tips. Listening to support is a good method for understanding and caring for others and all should listen that way. :)

10 part skill

“Listening is a 10 Part Skill,” is an interesting topic to read about.  It helps us on skills on how to improve the way we listen and how to use effective listening in improve our performance. What I found interesting was that as a listener even if the subject is dry and boring you have to pick out something that can fun, interesting, and exciting for you to become more involved. When you are listening it is important that you focus on the content rather than how it is being delivered because content is stronger than the delivery or it should be. Some people get too caught up in the story on how someone is speaking but completely ignores what the person is saying aka the content of their story. So in order to understand the content the listener needs to ignore the delivery and how they sound and focus on the content which is the base of their story.  I thought the part about holding your thoughts until you thoroughly understand the speakers’ thoughts is really important.  I have trouble with keeping my mouth shut because i tend to always butt in when people have not finished their story or their side of the problem. I should always let them finish and then we can debate about it after. It is really important to give speakers our conscious attention because we would be mad if we didn't get the same respect.  As a college student or a person in general I don’t’ give my conscious attention in life because thats just me and my personality. If I did listen better and took in what is being said in class it would benefit me because all I would understand the lectures and do well on the midterms and exams.  In order to do this I need to not get distracted so easily and not use my phone and put it away. By becoming a better listener will benefit the relationships I have with everyone around me. :)

Non Listening

The six different forms of nonlistening are pseudolistening, monolistening, selective listening, defensive listening, ambushing, and literal listening. I think I'm going to have to go with the pseudolistening form of non listening or at lest when I'm at school. My attention gets distracted very easily, so if the teacher is boring or all they do is talk talk talk, i'm most likely just going to be on my phone texting, playing games, tweeting or just doing anything other than paying attention. When I'm at work or something, I'm usually monopoliing because i like to talk all the time and people like to listen to me and when they try to talk i always have something to say so they can never finish. :P But it's okay because they don't get offended or anything because thats just me. I usually always interrupt people while talking... its just a habbit. When people first get to know me they probably hate me but as they get to know me they all end up liking me as a person. I try and am going to try harder to fix my forms of non listening and to be a better speaker. I will let people finish there stories before interrupting. :) By doing this people will like me even more or they will just how to deal with however i feel like being :P

chapter 3 influences on perception

I found that the influences on perception were an interesting topic in this chapter because there are a lot of reasons that influences their perception on things. Everyone usually views things, people, and situations differently. Physiology is a big factor with perception. The physiological states influence perception. Medical condition also is another reason. "Our expectations also affect what we notice" (Bargh, 1999). Age is also another factor that influences our perceptions. Older people have more of a complex fund of experience in situations and people. Age also influences perception on time. Culture and social locations are also more factors on influencing perception. Our lives are formed by our culture and it guides us on how to think, feel, and communicate. Culture is a powerful because it shapes our perception. Then it goes to social location since it defines our social group. Finally, roles shape our perceptions. Social rules are a factor on influencing our communication about our feelings.

hate speech

Hate is America is usually defined as a race issue or an anti- Semitic speech. Which is protected by the first amendment. There is no First Amendment exception for hate speech unless its libel, obscenity or fighting words. “Canada, Great Britain, Germany and numerous other Western democracies ban hate speech and there is an ongoing debate whether doing so undermines the fundamental tenet of a liberal democracy.” (spectacle.org) I think hate speech is a very unsteady subject. I agree that hate speech is wrong and it's morally revolting to use hateful words towards other individuals, I do not think that the government trying to control it or censor it is going to fix or solve the issue. People are going to use hate speech whether the laws say they can or cannot. Which is wrong, but people don’t change. They should spread awareness about hate speech and what it has caused and the effects they have on people to benefit individuals.

Metaphor for America

There are a lot of metaphors for describing our nation such as the melting pot, salad bowl, fruitcake, piñata, etc. I would describe our nation as a piñata. Piñata are stuffed with a variety of candies just like how America has a lot of many different and cultures that chose to settle down there. The piñata has a variety of candies that represents each different race and culture and the piñata is America because the candies aka people live in it. America doesn't have a centralized culture since it was formed by many different cultures migrating and settling from different continents and states or regions. It's not about crushing our history and embracing a culture like the American culture that too is honest doesn't even exist. It's about embracing the fact about which we are while using our history, our culture to bring new ideas to the table. We all have different, unique ideas and things to bring to the tablw and the experiences in our life and our backgrounds build who we are and what we are capable of becoming.

week 3 discussion 3

The topic that stuck out the most to me is the Johari Window. Which Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham had created, so they combined their names to make up the Johari Window. I have never heard about this model of communication before until I read this chapter. The Johari Window has 4 squares that do from the open or public area, then blind area, then hidden area, finally to the unknown area. The open area is information known between both to others and us. Usually basic information such as names, height, and hobbies since those can be shared easily. I usually am always in the open area about any information about me because I don't really care about hiding things aka the hidden area. The blind area has information that others know about us but we don't know about ourselves. For example, at work i wear glasses and when i carry the tray of food people say i always squint my eyes since its heavy or something? I do not notice. The hidden information is basically like secrets because we have information that we wish to keep to ourselves. Finally, the unknown area is information that has been made up of information about ourselves that no one knows. The blind and unknown areas are important to gain access. 

Race

Race is basically a classification system that categorizes people into different groups. Race is a category of people thought to be similar to each other, and different from other races. Race is based upon heritable phenotypic characteristics, geographic ancestry, physical appearance, ethnicity, and social status. I think race is a useful way to identify people when it comes to practical purposes. It is also useless because race just causes discrimination. Race isn't a good way to classify people because classifying in such way means that people have to meet an assumed set of necessary criteria. Many people will never stop categorizing people into race because people haven't realize the detrimental effects of racial categories on any individual at large. Of course the Census should allow people to select multiple races to define themselves because thats what they are. There are many people in the world that have multiple races and they shouldn't have to be forced to chose one race for the census because that just shows that they aren't being their true self. It doesn't make sense for them just to chose one race especially if they are half something and something else. Which one are they supposed to mark then? The Census needs to allow people to select multiple races because thats just who they are. Race shouldn't even matter around the world but it will always.

20 years older

I chose to talk to my mom since she was the only person around be that was older than me by at least 20 years. When my mom was 20, she still lived in Vietnam since that was where she was born. She said most of the people her age just wanted to start a family in America. They wanted to raise their children in a better place/ environment. My mom had her first child which was my oldest sister as the age of 21. My mom's goal when she was 20, was to just get out of Vietnam to live a better life and start a family of her own in America. The only goal my mom had was to get to America. My mom said growing up in Vietnam there wasn't a point in education since you couldn't do much there. It's a good thing my parents immigrated here because I love my life... kind of :P

I also chose to talk to my old english teacher from high school since I still keep in touch with him and he was a cool teacher. When he was 20 years old, he just wanted to finish school and become a teacher. His parents just expected for him to finish college and be successful to provide for them when they get older. In his first year of college he slacked off and thought he could get away with it but it ended up back firing and he ended up failing two classes in his first year of college. He said most of his friends slacked off too but then they realized that they would be making more money with a degree, so they all stetted goals.

I talked to my cousin's grandma which came from Vietnam recently to settle down in America to see how life is over here. Back when she was 20, she was just a house wife. Typically every women was for many ages. She would also help farm crops to eat since her and her family weren't wealthy people. Thats all she remembered since that was about 40 years ago but she did her own thing to survive and get to America. I also talked to her husband since they both came to America together and my cousin's grandpa had to provide for the family while she took care of the children, cooked and clean.

Comparing the different little interviews most people back then in there twenty had goals and worked and helped provide for their families. You see a lot of twenty year olds with no goals in life. They aren't going to school and they are jobless. People back then got married young, now a days you don't see that much.